Getting your groove back; For the divorced

These days, so many marriages and relationships that start out well, end suddenly and unexpectedly; a lot of times for reasons beyond our control. If you have gone through such, there is a likelihood of mental and psychological stress and this ripples to other aspects of your life. Most times, your sexual relationship life takes a major hit as you are very reluctant to get intimate with anyone for a long time. However, things do not have to be so twisted as there are tips for you in this article that can guide you to let go of your past and head towards reigniting your sexual flame.

Things have advanced and the world of hookups has changed. Online dating platforms are now the most widely used means by which people meet up. Meeting people in real life requires your skills in small talk and can also be a good option. However, you have your phone or PC which you go through virtually every day. Why not utilize its full potential and very possibly meet someone online who you might be worth the while?

Meeting up in real life with an online personality you met can make you nervous. But with routine and practice, you would adapt to the process. This article targets you who just got out of a relationship, or divorced. Giving you guidance for meeting new people especially potential intimate partners. Outlined below are chill pills by which you can feel at ease and begin your journey to regaining lost passions.

Your safety is prior

Remember, you met this person online and they could be anyone. There is virtually no limit to the possibilities of their character. Staying safe should be your priority. There are lot of crazies and outright weirdos online as there are people as right as rain. Always meet people for the first time at open public sites. It is a good idea to have a trusted friend who knows about your meetup and can check on you at intervals. So, keep your phone on and within reach! If you meet the person and they creep you out, then let it end right there. Do not allow them see you off to your apartment or car. Make sure you leave and drive home alone. You can also have an Uber driver take you home right from the entrance. The point is to make sure they don’t have a way to track you, for all you know they could be some crazy psychopath. Protect yourself and listen to your instincts!

Make it a short meeting

When meeting someone for the first time, there is a high probability that things would be a bit weird as you are nervous. However, don’t fret this is normal. What you should do is make the meeting a short one. Staying too long can further intensify the awkward air. Go straight to the point, get to know the person then part ways. If you enjoyed their company, then set up another date. Parting ways while things are still exciting is the way to go. This would make you both expectant for a second date. If the short time you spent doesn’t turn out so well, then you know the time wasted is not so much. Keeping your meeting brief can help you determine your compatibility from early on by sacrificing some time but not too much time. Don’t bore yourselves out by trying to sustain conversation. Go home and plan your next date if you liked them.

Don’t scare them away with aggression

When on a first date, it is good to be confident and self-assured. But don’t be overly aggressive. Aggressive is an unattractive trait and you’ll end up chasing potential partners away. Being assertive describes making your point, setting down boundaries and letting them know what you like, want and expect. However, taking it too far by taking steps without first inquiring if they are okay with it or insisting that you must be right is the definition of aggression. When with a lady, don’t take physical escalation too far too fast. This can be viewed as being assaultive. Don’t let your ideas of feminism come into play here. A big no! The fact that he is being nice just means he is responsible and not that he sees you as a lesser or weaker person. As a guy, try to avoid touching her unless she needs you to help her. Don’t break the contact barrier, at least not yet. This is a first date and she is not yet comfortable around you. Don’t ruin the possibility of future dates with an honest mistake. Be gentle and reserved. Only when she loosens up can you do so too. Move at her pace!

Don’t be the one talking all day

Don’t get carried away and be the only one talking. Allow the other person to express themselves after all, you also want to get to know about them. You might be awesome and funny but allow them talk too. Encourage them to talk by also making inquiries, ask questions. Let them open up their personality to you and make you realize the special things about them. It takes two to tango and this should be fun for the both of you. Also, whatever questions should not be too personal. Don’t talk about personal issues like having kids or how you want to walk down the aisle. Remember, this is just a first date. You don’t know their intentions yet so don’t scare them off. Also, on no account should you bring up discussions about your past relationships. Keep it to yourself even if it is still bothering you. Your present date might remind you of old times but that is what they are; old times. Live in the present!

Getting in with the swing

Men find it a bit difficult when meeting up with another couple with their present partner for swinger dating. Men are naturally territorial and tend to want to show dominance. Just like the animal world, every man wants to be the alpha male. To handle this, you need to take sides and put yourself on the good side of her trusted advisor. Women tend to have a friend who they check with concerning your relationship especially in the early phase. Making friends with them and impressing them would keep you in favor until she no longer needs her friend’s advice.

Body talk; your clue to decisions

One of the best ways to read the true intentions of an individual is from their body talk. It can serve as a good instrument by which you can judge the quality of the date. You can also use your body language to communicate without spoken words how you truly feel. If you do it well, you would create a good effect where they see you as being polite but still have a desire you don’t want to be too forward about. This is sexy. Your body is your second voice, master the use of it. Leaning in towards them shows that you like them, and the reverse is true. Keeping eye contact and smiling while looking at you hints interest. If they break the touch barrier themselves and make contact with you, then you can start your victory dance in your head. It is most likely they like you. If as a guy, you feel she is insecure and are sure she likes you but is too shy to initiate contact, then you can try initiating it yourself. But be careful, take it baby steps at a time. Just a light touch to her hand can be the ice-break point; plus, you don’t seem too forward.

In Conclusion

Healing from emotional wounds of a past relationship can be challenging. However, the fastest way to do so is to meet new people. Your feelings can’t be undone but can be replaced. The point is to remain yourself when on a first date. As a lady, don’t carry acquaintances or friends along. This gives off a vibe that he is untrustworthy. As a guy, come alone too. You are trying to establish a new connection, not a group friendship. Follow the tips outlined above, keeping it uncomplicated and make sure you both have fun in the end!

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