Whether you’ve already got a regular fuck buddy or are scouring adult dating sites looking for one, there are a few basic rules that you should consider to ensure that you and your one-night stand have an enjoyable time. The purpose of these rules is to help you and your friend set boundaries. After all, you’re not in an exclusive relationship, so things that may fly when you’re with a longtime girlfriend probably won’t work in these situations. While these rules aren’t concrete—firm rules and expectations should be set by you and your partner, keep reading to learn more—these are good guidelines to follow, especially if this is your first foray into having a friend with benefits.
Follow these basic 4 tips for a pleasant one night stand.
1. Be Honest With Each Other
It may seem counterintuitive to be so open with a fuck buddy, but the truth is that it’s absolutely vital to ensure that both parties are on the same page. Imagine trying to plan a lunch date with a friend, but you don’t communicate about when or where. Just as you’ll have no idea how to proceed there, you won’t know how to behave with a one-night stand. For example, how often will you meet? Where will you meet? Do you have sex and part ways, or do you sometimes spend the night? Will you go out on dates, buy each other gifts, or send sexy messages throughout the day? Might the relationship one day be more, or do you both have the understanding that it’s just fun?
2. Offer Coffee Not Breakfast
In most cases, a fuck buddy wants one thing: to get naughty. What happens after? Usually, the friend with benefits will go home shortly thereafter. But there might be situations where you’re both so exhausted that you just crash for the night. When the next morning arrives, you may find that your friend snuck off early. Other times, they might still be lying around. Whether you’re the one around in the morning or you have a bed partner, the general expectation is that they should hit the road by 11 am. Follow this rule if you’re the one who stayed over; if the friend stayed at your house, offer coffee so that they don’t feel obligated to stay longer than either of you want.
3. Don’t Expect Anything Afterwards
The whole idea of sex dating is that you’re in it to fulfill a basic need. You aren’t looking for a relationship and all the ups and downs that come with it. As such, you shouldn’t expect anything from a fuck buddy but some getting down and dirty—that’s all they’re expecting from you and it’s likely that’s all they’re willing to give. If you think that you might be looking for more, you need to seriously reconsider the idea of one-night stands. That’s not to say that there’s anything wrong with wanting more. It’s just important that all concerned parties know expectations up front so that feelings don’t get hurt.
4. Having Enjoyable One Night Stands
Fuck buddies allow you total freedom over your sex life. You can have as much or as little as you want, with no annoying strings attached. In lots of cases, friends with benefits are still friends—they’re people you can talk to about your day, people who will let you let off steam, and people who may enjoy the same kinds of things you do. The key to having an enjoyable one-night stand is to be on the same page before things ever start getting hot and heavy. Decide what kinds of things you’ll talk about and what you’ll avoid; if one of you is married, the other guy or girl might be off limits, for example. Also be sure you know what may happen before the encounter (a date, some alcohol, or nothing at all), as well as whether the fun will continue through the morning.
Having sex should be fun and liberating; the last thing you want is to be weighed down by uncertainty about what your partner is thinking. Be open about what you want, listen carefully to what your partner wants, and then have an exciting fling that fulfills both your needs.